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journalWelcome to my online journal. I'm Alex Mead. For many years people called me AMPro --so much so that it seemed like my name. More recently, a lot of people on the internet have come to know me as green.earth.al and in show biz...My Rap Name is Alex. Whatever name I'm known by, I still seem to have the same opinions and convictions, I still like to write and make public my introspection and try to say something that will provoke some thoughts and help people see the world in new and helpful ways.
I Kissed a Girl...
this journal entry posted on October.29.2005

I'd lived in Buffalo for nearly 35 years. And I'd never once been to Nietzsche's even once. It's a pretty legendary bar/hang out spot. I haven't much occasion to go into any bars. Still, I've been in most bars on the west side at least once for some reason or another. Leslie was going to be Belly Dancing there for Halloween. So I decided to drop by and see her some more.

I got there on time. Here in Buffalo, that means I got there way early and there was nobody there. S'okay I had plent to do to keep myself occupied. I had a ton of drawings to do for my book. It was too dark to draw in there but where there's a will, there's a way they say.

I Didn't get much time to draw because this totally obnoxious guy came in. Drunk, loud, insisting on airing his problems to everyone else, making viscious anti-women comments.

Twenty minutes later... Obnoxious guy, his name was Rob, was my newest friend. Depressed people don't necessarily bother. Not if they have a good reason to be depressed. And Rob had all of the best reasons. He was pissed off about the lack of human contact and brootherhood on planet Earth. Right On! Me too! We became really good friends. He said that no one had sat and listened to him for years. Well I sat and listened to him. He was interesting. He said he had always wanted to writre a book. The plot he described to me sounded awesome. I didn't even tell him much about the books I was writing. I just mostly listened. He needed a listener. I totally hope he writes that book. It is a book that I would very much like to read.

Okay so after a while bands started showing up. And warming up. And more people came in. And I found a playbill for the evening and confirmed that I was there on the right night so Leslie would get there later.

So Nietzsche's is a pretty cool optical illusion. From the front it looks like this tiny, tiny place. I always hear music going on as I ride by on my bike and I always figure people must be packed in like sardeens in there. But no. Actually the place is cavernous. It's really, really long. Not wide across at all, not very tall, but it just goes on and on for like half a block in depth.

So there's a pretty big dance floor. The first band was pretty good. I started dancing. Alone. Again. A common theme lately. People look at me like I'm a bug eyed alien. I don't much care. If the music is good: I dance. That's what makes me happy. Other people were knocking the music, the evening, everything else. Me, I knew that it could all be much worse. The band was a fine band. And sure enough the bands after did seem to get worse. Or, at least, I could hear what they were saying, they were just all load for the sake of being loud. So I ended up getting the dancing in while the dancing was good.

Leslie and a huge posse of Belly Dancers came in. They look awesome. They are really about it with the costuming. A joy to look at, and fun to watch while they perform. The performed in between each band. I sat on the floor up close and just had a very sensual experience with the whole thing. They were an exibition of some of my favorite things about womanhood, from the sensual all the way to the sublime through to the subtle. I enjoyed it on a bunch of different levels. It made me very aware of my polyamorousness, and my metamorphosis into being very okay with that.

Through the night there were lots of people that came up and talked to me. It seems that I'm known even in new places. I talked to people about the Judy for Mayor campaign (the election was coming up). I talked about my run for co-op board again (that election was coming up the very next day). Buffalo's a cool place with lots of cool people to talk to. And I talked to Rob more here and there. And any time she was free I went over and talked to Leslie. She was smiling a lot that night. She's really beautiful.

So at some point it was time to leave. I had been reminded that I had to stay awake the next day and try to get elected to the food co-op board.

So I went to say my goodbyes to Leslie and she went to hug me. Now, whenever a woman goes to hug me, my Quasimoto complex kicks in and I turn my head way away so she won't think I'm trying to get fresh and kiss her or anything. Only... with Leslie, it seemed like she had been actually trying to kiss me. So I had made a conscious effort to remember not to turn my head next time we embraced. So, we embraced. And...

I turned my head again. I can't help it. Something's wrong in my brain. Worse yet was that she kissed me anyway. Too late, the realization kicked in that she actually wanted to kiss me. "UG! IDIOT! STOP TURNING YOUR HEAD! SHE WANTS TO KISS YOU!" Desperately I tried to communicate with my eyes. In eyeball language I said "Give me another chance and I won't turn my head." And it worked. She speaks eyebell language. She came back. And we kissed. Lips to lips. Just a little bit. But it just lit my whole emotional being up. I had a very inspired ride home. I was very eager to see her again.

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