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journalWelcome to my online journal. I'm Alex Mead. For many years people called me AMPro --so much so that it seemed like my name. More recently, a lot of people on the internet have come to know me as green.earth.al and in show biz...My Rap Name is Alex. Whatever name I'm known by, I still seem to have the same opinions and convictions, I still like to write and make public my introspection and try to say something that will provoke some thoughts and help people see the world in new and helpful ways.
June 2006
The End
this journal entry posted on June.17.2006

Welcome to the end. The end of chapter 3 that is. I'm writing a second autobiography. Really slowly. And today I find myself at the end of chapter 3.

How does chapter 3 end?

Well the guy gets the gal. And the other gal. But not without a climactic finale. I thought that my new girlfriend and my old girlfriend and me were just just going to smooth sail into bliss. But that was not to be. Last Tuesday I really messed things up. We all messed things up. We were all communicating super fast (because all three of us are great communicators), but I don't know if it was even possible to communicate as fast as we'd have had to communicate to smooth sail through the complexity involved in the three of our lives. There was a lot of really intense hurt and confusion and shock.

Funny thing is... all of the mess from trying to start this new relationship didn't really hurt the new relationship any... BUT it did end up making the old relationship that much better. Which I wouldn't have imagined was even possible. But somehow... was.

Another interesting plot twist. Heather has my old job at Dunlop. So that means: she gets a chance to see what the job I used to talk to her about is like first hand, I get to help her learn the job with all of the things I picked up, we get to ride to work together a few days a week since I still work in the same physical location, and Heather has an income so her stress about not having an income can begin to disipate. She looks really authoritarian in her uniform, it's an amazing transformation.

Heather's been helping to organize the house finances and prepare to invite people into our Art Co-op too so even my finances are starting to heal ever so slowly.

So the end of chapter three finds me feeling really loved and appreciated. Enthusiastic about future projects. Feeling like community and family are finally beginning to come into my life. life is a fun ride.


So... up next is chapter 4.

Chapter 4 will not only be chapter 4, but it will also be a fully self-contained story in its own right. What I'm trying to say is that my journaling is about to become radically different. It's about to turn into a story called "The Problem With Earthlings..."

It's been bouncing around my mind for some time and I highly recommend it to you. I think that you should add my journal to your favorites in your browser or subscribe to my blog on MySpace(which is a pretty cool feature by the way) or add me to your livejournal friends or do whatever is involved in helping you to follow along. It'll be fun. Or interesting. Or some other nice adjective.

See ya there.

-Alex



3am
this journal entry posted on June.10.2006

It came from out of nowhere.

I was getting used to --once again-- being a polyamorous guy with one girlfriend. An awesome and wonderful girlfriend, certainly, but folks generally become polyamorous to explore the possibility of more.

To be sure, exploring is pretty fun. I've met (and crushed on) all of these really wonderful women, all of whom have become friends and some of whome have become REALLY good friends. But none of whom really wanted to make that leap and look into a lasting romance. (clarification: no one local to me I mean.)

So all of a sudden I was at the housing co-op for dinner on Wednesday night like I generally am... and she just walked into my life. Oh I had met her before a bunch. We'd smiled at one another a lot and embraced like old friends a few times. But all of a sudden she was asking to share attention with me. She wanted to listen to my story and/or tell me her story.

Life is all about rushing and being busy for us young folks. We were only able to shcedule 15 minutes of giving one another our attention. It ended up being a half-hour and we acknowledged that we needed to do that again really soon.

Couple days later I was calling her. Hoping to schedule some attention time. Hoping for something soon. What she had in mind was even soon than what I had in mind. Namely, NOW. Let's get together and talk for an hour starting now.

We met up around nine. Talking was going really well. REALLY well. By the time midnight rolled around it was pretty clear that we were really interested in one another. Something really amazingly fun was happening. Energy was transforming and becoming really romantic energy.

By 3am I had a really intense case of the smittens. I tried to warn her about what she was getting into; to tell her every possible detractor and cosmic oddity. She didn't much care.

I had been waiting for something for a long time without really being sure what it was. I had been waiting for a woman to come along who I didn't have to talk into it. Someone actually enthusiastic about the idea of mingling lives with myself and Heather and excited about exploring a relationship with me. I had been thinking that maybe I was worth at least that.

The next day the three of us spent time getting to know each other.

Good times.

-Alex

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