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journalWelcome to my online journal. I'm Alex Mead. For many years people called me AMPro --so much so that it seemed like my name. More recently, a lot of people on the internet have come to know me as green.earth.al and in show biz...My Rap Name is Alex. Whatever name I'm known by, I still seem to have the same opinions and convictions, I still like to write and make public my introspection and try to say something that will provoke some thoughts and help people see the world in new and helpful ways.
August 2005
a little more on that...
this journal entry posted on August.29.2005

So yeah, the beat just goes on I guess.

Today was a great day too. Like what it's like to feel like people know you.

I went to Women in Black today. That's a silent vigil for peace that happens all over the world (and here in Buffalo every Saturday). We stood for an hour and afterwords there was a guest from India. Really lovely young woman doing some post graduate work at the University of Buffalo. And so we women in black are gathered around her in our little tribe, and, listening to this awesome young woman speak, it kinda felt like Opus. Having your peeps around you sitting on the grass listening to great information about justice. Yeah. Cool. So, sure, my tribe is me and two old guys and a bunch of women in their 50s and 60s. A strange looking gang to be sure. But hey, that's how we roll in Buffalo. Deal.

So I got my first post-Opus Anna hugs from Anna Walsh (the lady that wrote my poetry book with me). She is just so so awesome. And we took out the books I dropped off yesterday and started signing them. And she looked right through me and started telling me about dreams and energy and other things that I don't put much stock in. And she told me that she had consulted various energies and that she had asked them to send me another wonderful life-mate into my life and so I shouldn't worry about it, it was just going to happen.

Okay. Now... why the hell should that make me feel totally better? With as much as I don't believe in consulting energies, and as much as I do believe in actually making it happen yourself, somehow, Anna, just by telling me that, just made everything better.

I've been having a good day ever since.

And I just read chapter 1 of my 2nd novel to Birdie and Jessie and Jessie's friend Dave and I'm still totally stoked from that.

And oh by the way... my friend Christina (who rocks just as much as any woman has ever rocked in human history) called me and we caught up a bit and so then she has this crazy plan to move the art activist co-op into some crazy ass mansion and has some plan for how we can afford it and we would be a lot like the housing co-op and that would push the idea light years ahead in a single bound and we're scheduled to talk about it at tomorrow's AABCC meeting, and so I spent much of today considering moving out of my house that I've lived in for 20 years for the first time ever.

La la la lal la. Ch-ch-ch-changes.
Just maybe gonna have to be a different man.

be Peace,
-Alex

Home.  Sweet, sweet home.
this journal entry posted on August.27.2005

I began writing a poem as soon as we were headed for Buffalo. A poem about how much I missed Buffalo. It had been an amazing journey full of ups and downs. Much of it had been great. But I was ready to be home. Buffalo, NY, the source of what little strength I have.

Decent poem. It'll be nice to go read out some time and see what the Buffalonians think of it.

Buffalo welcomed me home to the very best of its ability. I had messages on my answering machine from Anna Walsh that said she had gotten lots of orders for our poetry books while I was away. She was rather desperate to have some more copies to sell.

On the drive home Birdie and I decided that even though we had missed the Wednesday nigh highs and lows at the Housing co-op, we should drop in on Thursday just so that we could see the fine people there. We ended up having a fine time there and I watched many interesting conversations.

The next morning I remembered that I had gotten a cryptic message from Mike Niman while I was away. Mike Niman is a columnist for the big alternative weekly newspaper here in Buffalo. His email said check page twenty of last weeks issue. I had asked at the housing co-op whether anyone had a copy floating around. They suggested I check the website. So I checked the website. There on page 20 of last weeks issue, a review of my novel Relations that went out to some 60,000 people who read ArtVoice in Western New York. It was a great review too.

There was no food in the house. And not much money for food. But I decided to take what money there was down to the food co-op and get some real food. I had been missing my food. Getting to select my own ingredients, my own portion sizes, etc.

Earlier in the month I had been to Opus. Opus: An awesome touchy-feely wandering city filled with loving young people. A fun place to visit, but I could never live there. I need the elders so bad. I need to have friends that can look me in the eye and say "I've been alive for 64 years and one of the most important things I've learned is..." and that kind of thing. A lot of my Opus friends get really sad when Opus is over because the love vanishes. This year I went to my 3rd Opus. Every year I come back from Opus and try to bring some of the pleasantness back from Opus. I don't notice the change from day to day. But over time, changing what I put in, had radically altered what I get back. I have loved my city to the very best of my ability. My city, in turn, loves me back.

I had three different people come up to me and congratulate me on the review of my book in the ArtVoice before I'd had a chance to get any shopping done. One was my friend Lucy and I asked her if she knew where I could get my hands on a copy of last weeks ArtVoice and asked her if she might have a copy. She suggested I check out the library.

I ran into my friends Quinn and Janet. They're a really awesome couple that I totally love. They run the martial arts and yoga center in the community. I got some OpusLike hugs and conversation from them. Quinn told me he'd just read my novel and wanted to know when book 2 was coming out. I told him the good news about how book 2 was going and how I'd written the first two chapters on the road. And I probably went on at length, repeating myself, about how book 2 was goint to be. I have a tendency to do that. And so in the middle of our conversation he started rubbing my chest. That was pretty weird, but hey, you know, whatever right? I kept on talking to Janet and stuff and she and I both tried to keep from giving him the wierd eye as best we could. Then he explained to me that I had shaving remnants, little beard trimmings all over my shirt. My t-shirt that said "100% Conscious." I had just been explaining to Janet about how I don't believe in 100% conscious and how I was just wearing it because it was a shirt for my friend's website. Quinn apologized for getting "all motherly on me" but he said he didn't want me to walk around with a 100% conscious t-shirt not knowing that I had beard hair all over my shirt. And we all laughed about that a lot. Like laughted ourselves silly. And that's pretty much what most days are like for me here in this part of Buffalo.

I finished getting some good food and catching up with a few more people. I got home and I had received my first real mail from Opus People. That was way cool.

Birdie volunteered to go to the library to look for an ArtVoice with me and meet Anna Walsh. The library was closed because our stupid county is totally broke. Anna Walsh wasn't home so we left some books for her and went back home.

Today's the last friday of the month so I went downtown to ride the Critical Mass: a nice leasurely bike ride with 60 to 70 good friends. I can recall the frustration I had a couple years ago when I tried to get all my different factions in Buffalo to be friends. I could get my friends to be friends with my other friends. But now, as I looked around Critical Mass. So many friends were there. The housing co-op people were there. Mike Niman, the guy who wrote the review of my novel in ArtVoice was there. People from the MAP community center were there. All kinds of people were there. Lots of shiny happy women with beautiful bike riding muscles were there. And we all just rode our bicycles around and smiled a lot and daydreamed and such.

Then I got the feeling that it might be around the time I volunteered to cook dinner for the residents of the Art-Activists co-op (a shared living space for authors and artists that I'm determined to start up here.) Yeah, there's only one other member that's staying now that the other establishing member is leaving, but hey, we can still enjoy a good plate of "Orange" while were here together no?

After dinner I went to go visit an old friend from my old job (that I quit right before Opus). We had been reading my autobiography and we left of at Chapter 15 (just where it starts getting good).

I was coming over the crest of a bridge. I wasn't paying much attention. I had my music loud. I was going too fast. All of a sudden I sensed something coming toward me very fast. I looked up. All I had time to do was make that wierd noise that I always make when I'm startled. And then we colided. Head on collision at top speed. Our vehicles became two twisted chunks of metal. And we slammed into one another really, really hard. If our vehicles had been cars and we'd collided like that I'd be dead. But we were on bikes. So we just looked at each other confused for some moments.

I was worried that he was going to be pissed. But nah. This is Buffalo. He started making sure I was alright, I started making sure he was alright. He retrieved his shoes from our locked wheels. We went about figuring out how to get out bikes untangled from each other. We didn't have to exchange insurance companies. We didn't have to wait for the cops to show. Instead we just exchanged names. His name was Tom. And then we each appologized about what we were doing instead of paying attention. And then we marveled at how hard we had colided into one another. And then we laughed about it. Just had a real loud and geniune relieved laugh and wished each other well several times.

And then I went to go read my book to Richard. And tell him how I'd missed him.

It's so good to be home. All of my personal stuff is falling apart. But I can deal. I got a city full of people that love me. I think I'll go read them their poem on Monday.


Touch Base
this journal entry posted on August.18.2005

Back in Buffalo for a few moments. We'll be taking off again and heading to Boston in a few hours.

Last night I got to have Wednesday dinner at the housing co-op for the first time in a few weeks (missed it for the 2nd and 3rd time due to being away at Opus). Was fun to spend some kid time with Bakti (I missed there being kids at Opus this year a lot).

Walking around the Elmwood Village yesterday felt odd. Suddenly all the people of Opus were gone and all the people from before were back. The MAP community center burned up while I was away and now the whole community's figuring out what to do about it. It really sucks.

Slowly but surely we're getting the Art Activists of Buffalo Community Co-op up and running. We'll have hot water when we get back from Boston. I got used to hot showers in Pennsylvania & Iowa.

As of August I've started part 2 of Relations, my futurefiction novel. Chapter 1 is finished and is about as good as I could have hoped for. Hope to have chapter 2 done by the time I get back from Boston.

Not having to go to work has been nice this month. Still not totally sure what I'll be doing for income when I get back. Plenty of time to think about that.

Spending time with HeatherK, blissful as always. Seeing so many women that I adore and meeting more new ones at Opus was indescribably wonderful. Sad that next year is my last Opus.

Oh well. For now, life is good.

be Peace,
-Alex


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